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Suzanna Wong
XtC.NyX|xGongZu-
07 May
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Monday, August 04, 2008
+.+ Im dying i guess +.+
Ya i know its been awhile since i last blog, I'm just kinda lazy!!
There are a lot of problems arising maybe weeks or months ago, I'm still waiting for the answer from the management yet nothing was known now but at the same time,the fear in me seems to grow even more..
The questions of How? What should i do? What's the future ahead? Money?
Tons and tons of question just made me lost..
I know I'm already 21 this year but yet i still doesn't have a clue of what i want for my future career. That's actually pretty insane.. lols.. Sometimes i just wonder did i really enjoy or interested in what I'm doing? I'm unsure myself.. Seriously i just doesn't know what i wan!!
Through out this 21 years, i know i have done a lot of wrongs to those who have love and care for me and yet disappointing them over and over again.. Sometimes i wish I'm a better person, instead of who i am now.. Sometimes i wish i was leading another life instead of the one I'm leading now but face it, its reality i can't choose my fate..
I'm sincerely apologies to those that i have hurt and disappoint especially my family although they will never know about this post.. I really did try my best to lead on the best i can but it seems to be so hard, whenever something crops up i tends to run away from the problem instead of facing it, perhaps i doesn't have the courage to do so..
Sometimes i wish i had closer friends that would be there for me, trying to understand and help me instead of telling me the wrongs that was already done.. But yet i have not really found one.. Friends and boyfriends are way different.. I guess you guys will know the different, I'm just lazy to explain it..
Should i leave school or wait for the answer?!
Mummy - Sometimes i wish i can talk to you like a friend to let you know what I am going through but yet all you did was to nag and scold.. Why can't we ever sit down and talk?! I suppose that will never happen in my life.. lol..
You never seriously understand what i wanted and did you actually look at my goods then bad? No.. Sad to say..
I know i have been a big disappointment to you all this years but did you know that i didn't wanted all this.. Sometimes i wish your a mom whom i can talk too but yet going home seems like the some thing i hated most perhaps there wasn't any love..
So much of mine blah blah blah thoughts, now for the updates on my life..
Friday-
The Chinese call it "Hong Mao" its like patches of mosquito bites and its damn itchy.. Damn bloody suay, i gotten it 2 days ago but thinking it was under control on the 2nd day itself, i didn't went to see a doctor and BLOOD BLOOD HELL.. I was having lesson half way through and it started to itch, apply cream but it doesn't seems to help but gotten worst.. Imagine 2 of my legs and hands are filled with red patches??!!
Arhh.. after the 1st lesson, headed down straight to the clinic to see the doctor and was given medicine instead of cream.. Well gotten slightly better after the medication but 1 thing for sure it WON'T spread to others so not to worry!!
Saturday-
Slept 4/5 hours once again cause my compy starts at 11am and we have to report at 1030am.. I overslept once again and was kinda late but glad that we wasn't DQ or I'm gonna be KILLED by the gers..
Won our first game that was like totally pawnage, the feeling was GREAT!! cause being in a ger's team winning compy seems the hardest thing but yet we won our first game =) It's the 2nd time winning the first game.. Maybe to others like for example guys its nothing much but it really means a lot to us girls..
Though i have to admit my farming really sucks, but i have being playing a runner so such a long period of time or so last hit to me wasn't so important so i need some time to adjust.. Something really funny happens doing the game cause I'm using spectre and Cass using DK.. It should be DK running with the rest and i farm but yet its the opposite way, lol maybe I'm just so used to catch with them and i bu fan xin too..
I got to say i really enjoy my role in the team now.. lol..
We shouldn't be losing the 2nd game though lol.. But never mind at least we learn from our mistake..
WELL DONE GERS ^^ I'm sure we will do even better in future.. Jia You!!
Anyway headed to Thai Express with Cass, Jiayi and Maki for lunch.. Headed back to accompany baby while the rest headed down to EVO.. Pictures cope from Cass blog =X
Cass & Jiayi
Magou
Jiayi: Honey chicken
Cassy: Tom Yam Fish Noodles
Magou: Soft Shell Crab
Gz: Tom Yam Hor Fun
Baby won their game and headed to the hawker to have our dinner, gosu porridge and JJ is damn cb he scam beanie 20cents for helping him buy a drink that he have to buy himself too.. He scam Loy oyster too.. LOL!!
Brought durians and mangosteens.. After eating the durians, headed to the food court for supper with baby.. Laska with mass hums ftw!!
Arhh i didn't even get the chance to eat the mangosteens =( It's been years since i last ate mangosteens.. LAME RITE!!
Sunday-
lSC WON ZENITH!!
Ya i know it wasn't convincing enough to most of you guys but its true!! They won with shi li =)
and i just realize there was a bastard watching the game of lsc.. Anyway they lose their match to KS but well you all realise your mistake after losing so jia you for the upcoming WCG!!
Went to sort of celebrate but Xl and loy eaten liao -.- so ended up baby , beanie, jj and me went to have our dinner at Hong Kong Cafe at Heartland Mall.. Food was just average and something really funny happen, beanie ordered fried rice i think, with extra rice when its served the plate was FLOODED with rice damn scary, i think its more like for 4 person serving.. I should have taken the picture.. Damn!!
Baby was really sweet to buy me flowers =) cause i was whinning i wanted flowers.. Hehe..
I'm not sure if it the diam sum i ate in the afternoon or the dinner that causes baby and i to have diahorrea but mine was worst.. Diahorrea + vomit + headache.. GG!!
Gotten food poisoning in the morning and was suppose to have a test today but i didn't go so ended up the teacher told me i needed 3 days MC in 1 MC.. HOHO??! Last semester was only 2 days and i checked the hand book too.. 3 days is like those dying liao leh -.- LAME SIA!!
I JUST WANNE QUIT SCHOOL!!!
I'm really not as strong as you think i am, yes its true i may have lead a weird 21 years of enduring PAIN but yet still moving on with life.. But I'm breaking down really soon, i don't know how long more can i endure all this, i know part of it is i asked for it but then I'm HUMAN you know.. I have feelings.. I really can't take it anymore.. Maybe 1 day i might just leave or disappear by then don't bother to find me!!
I'm really very tired of living on..... I hope someone could bring me away!!
Give me some time to blog about the trip to Kuantan and upload pictures...
There are a lot of problems arising maybe weeks or months ago, I'm still waiting for the answer from the management yet nothing was known now but at the same time,the fear in me seems to grow even more..
The questions of How? What should i do? What's the future ahead? Money?
Tons and tons of question just made me lost..
I know I'm already 21 this year but yet i still doesn't have a clue of what i want for my future career. That's actually pretty insane.. lols.. Sometimes i just wonder did i really enjoy or interested in what I'm doing? I'm unsure myself.. Seriously i just doesn't know what i wan!!
Through out this 21 years, i know i have done a lot of wrongs to those who have love and care for me and yet disappointing them over and over again.. Sometimes i wish I'm a better person, instead of who i am now.. Sometimes i wish i was leading another life instead of the one I'm leading now but face it, its reality i can't choose my fate..
I'm sincerely apologies to those that i have hurt and disappoint especially my family although they will never know about this post.. I really did try my best to lead on the best i can but it seems to be so hard, whenever something crops up i tends to run away from the problem instead of facing it, perhaps i doesn't have the courage to do so..
Sometimes i wish i had closer friends that would be there for me, trying to understand and help me instead of telling me the wrongs that was already done.. But yet i have not really found one.. Friends and boyfriends are way different.. I guess you guys will know the different, I'm just lazy to explain it..
Should i leave school or wait for the answer?!
Mummy - Sometimes i wish i can talk to you like a friend to let you know what I am going through but yet all you did was to nag and scold.. Why can't we ever sit down and talk?! I suppose that will never happen in my life.. lol..
You never seriously understand what i wanted and did you actually look at my goods then bad? No.. Sad to say..
I know i have been a big disappointment to you all this years but did you know that i didn't wanted all this.. Sometimes i wish your a mom whom i can talk too but yet going home seems like the some thing i hated most perhaps there wasn't any love..
So much of mine blah blah blah thoughts, now for the updates on my life..
Friday-
The Chinese call it "Hong Mao" its like patches of mosquito bites and its damn itchy.. Damn bloody suay, i gotten it 2 days ago but thinking it was under control on the 2nd day itself, i didn't went to see a doctor and BLOOD BLOOD HELL.. I was having lesson half way through and it started to itch, apply cream but it doesn't seems to help but gotten worst.. Imagine 2 of my legs and hands are filled with red patches??!!
Arhh.. after the 1st lesson, headed down straight to the clinic to see the doctor and was given medicine instead of cream.. Well gotten slightly better after the medication but 1 thing for sure it WON'T spread to others so not to worry!!
- Class outing to Gardenia..
- Some idiot step on dog shits and imagine being in the bus for that 1/2 an hour..
- Saw really HUGE cooler (I'll try to find the picture)
- Really HOT environment (Beyond what you can imagine)
- Got to know Gardenia produces 40 kinds of bread...
- They produce 200 thousands of bread per day..
- Saw those aunties throwing breads away like FREE but its actually cause the cutting wasn't right or its under baked..
- Brought Gardenia recipe book and a Gardenia Toy Lorry..
Saturday-
Slept 4/5 hours once again cause my compy starts at 11am and we have to report at 1030am.. I overslept once again and was kinda late but glad that we wasn't DQ or I'm gonna be KILLED by the gers..
Won our first game that was like totally pawnage, the feeling was GREAT!! cause being in a ger's team winning compy seems the hardest thing but yet we won our first game =) It's the 2nd time winning the first game.. Maybe to others like for example guys its nothing much but it really means a lot to us girls..
Though i have to admit my farming really sucks, but i have being playing a runner so such a long period of time or so last hit to me wasn't so important so i need some time to adjust.. Something really funny happens doing the game cause I'm using spectre and Cass using DK.. It should be DK running with the rest and i farm but yet its the opposite way, lol maybe I'm just so used to catch with them and i bu fan xin too..
I got to say i really enjoy my role in the team now.. lol..
We shouldn't be losing the 2nd game though lol.. But never mind at least we learn from our mistake..
WELL DONE GERS ^^ I'm sure we will do even better in future.. Jia You!!
Anyway headed to Thai Express with Cass, Jiayi and Maki for lunch.. Headed back to accompany baby while the rest headed down to EVO.. Pictures cope from Cass blog =X
Cass & Jiayi
Magou
Jiayi: Honey chicken
Cassy: Tom Yam Fish Noodles
Magou: Soft Shell Crab
Gz: Tom Yam Hor FunBaby won their game and headed to the hawker to have our dinner, gosu porridge and JJ is damn cb he scam beanie 20cents for helping him buy a drink that he have to buy himself too.. He scam Loy oyster too.. LOL!!
Brought durians and mangosteens.. After eating the durians, headed to the food court for supper with baby.. Laska with mass hums ftw!!
Arhh i didn't even get the chance to eat the mangosteens =( It's been years since i last ate mangosteens.. LAME RITE!!
Sunday-
lSC WON ZENITH!!
Ya i know it wasn't convincing enough to most of you guys but its true!! They won with shi li =)
and i just realize there was a bastard watching the game of lsc.. Anyway they lose their match to KS but well you all realise your mistake after losing so jia you for the upcoming WCG!!
Went to sort of celebrate but Xl and loy eaten liao -.- so ended up baby , beanie, jj and me went to have our dinner at Hong Kong Cafe at Heartland Mall.. Food was just average and something really funny happen, beanie ordered fried rice i think, with extra rice when its served the plate was FLOODED with rice damn scary, i think its more like for 4 person serving.. I should have taken the picture.. Damn!!
Baby was really sweet to buy me flowers =) cause i was whinning i wanted flowers.. Hehe..
I'm not sure if it the diam sum i ate in the afternoon or the dinner that causes baby and i to have diahorrea but mine was worst.. Diahorrea + vomit + headache.. GG!!
Gotten food poisoning in the morning and was suppose to have a test today but i didn't go so ended up the teacher told me i needed 3 days MC in 1 MC.. HOHO??! Last semester was only 2 days and i checked the hand book too.. 3 days is like those dying liao leh -.- LAME SIA!!
I JUST WANNE QUIT SCHOOL!!!
I'm really not as strong as you think i am, yes its true i may have lead a weird 21 years of enduring PAIN but yet still moving on with life.. But I'm breaking down really soon, i don't know how long more can i endure all this, i know part of it is i asked for it but then I'm HUMAN you know.. I have feelings.. I really can't take it anymore.. Maybe 1 day i might just leave or disappear by then don't bother to find me!!
I'm really very tired of living on..... I hope someone could bring me away!!
Give me some time to blog about the trip to Kuantan and upload pictures...
With ♥ From Suzanna [11:11 AM]